Understanding Our Elders

Understanding Our Elders

Recently I have been thinking about my elders.  In particular, I have thought about my mother, grandmother and aunts.  As a little girl I was surprised by the loud and joyous praise of our Lord in the tent revivals that visited our little town from time to time.  Most in attendance were the elderly (and for me at age 6 that was anyone over 30).  The music was uplifting and soulful.  The message was a bit frightening (with hell and damnation) but overall it was just a time when you wiggled in your seat with anticipation for the ending when I could run and play with the other kids.

Speaking of elders brings to mind how the matriarchs and patriarchs of my family seemed to maintain some degree of tranquility and have a simple answer for most conflicts.  To the contrary, In their younger days, I saw my share of family arguments and discord.  But in those later years, there was nothing demonstrated but love and compassion and acceptance for one another and one another’s lives. 

I wondered where that sense of calm came from.  How did that change come about?  My own mother made peace with distant family members that she had never visited or spoken to.  I couldn’t help but wonder if there was some weird series of events that made this possible.  I remember openly asking Mom why she was going to visit a sister-in-law on my dad’s side of the family.  They had not seen one another for many years but they seemed connected somehow.

And now as I have joined the “elderly” and continue the journey as a family matriarch, I too find myself more accepting, more loving, more open, and full of love for others.  I have experienced enough life to know that life is NOT black and white (my 30-50) but various shades of gray.  I see two sides of every story without taking a side.  And most important I choose to see the good in people.  I find kinship with other elders who have similar stories of life, death, family and faith.

The key word here is “faith”.  If we are blessed to be an elder, we soon realize it is time to get your affairs in order.  It is time to follow the Lord and give your life to serving others.

It is not about ME!  It’s about YOU!

After our 10-year journey with dementia, then losing Denny August 2011 – my world came crashing down.  These have been the most difficult days of my life.  Never before had I felt so all alone.  According to a Grief Share (receive these daily) message:

The Bible says there are powerful principles for living that can be learned through grief and loss.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation . . ." (Philippians 4:12).

Unfailing strength is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NLT)

Sharpen your focus on the things in life that have lasting value, and contemplate your eternal life, being certain about where you will spend it.

Saving Jesus, my strength, my hope, and my joy are rooted in YOU. I want to live with YOU forever in heaven.             Amen.

After two Presbyterian Pilgrimages (for this Catholic) and with these daily messages, it is finally soaking in.  And when I spent the last six weeks of my brother Milt’s life at his bedside, I received an incredible insight and peace regarding death.  Milt and I had conversation that only those facing their final days can share.  We spoke of family, life, death and future generations to come. Those days were a gift!  Those conversations helped me more than words can express. 

And so it was that I watched my husband and my youngest brother die with dignity and grace.  They were in God’s loving arms ready to join their parents and generations past. 

When you live your life for Christ, you are not so focused on yourself and your loss of loved ones.  What I have found is an enriched relationship with those who are in my life.  That does not just include family, but friends and even strangers at times. 

I have a greater ability to comfort others.  In comforting others, I am comforted.  I have a greater ability to stay calm (previously not one of my strengths) in adversity.  I have a much greater ability to spare my opinion and let others live out their lives as it is meant to be. 

Even the air I breathe feels better!  I sleep better because I am at peace.  I cherish friendships. I don’t see obstacles only opportunities.  I have many more good days than bad (missing Denny).  I know I have been blessed with loving parents and a loving/spiritual husband for 41 years.  And most of all, I know the Lord “is with me”.  HE has carried me through many “storms” where I have learned to “dance in the rain”.