Decisions Make a Difference

There are many decisions married couples make that seem to be only concerned with the immediate future.  When in reality many of those decisions will mark the cornerstone for the future.

In 1976, Dennis had the opportunity to move to Texas and become a swim coach once again.  He had been unable to find teaching/coaching positions after finishing his masters degree.  So when this invitation to interview came -- he asked me to go with him for the trip.  He wanted to make sure I would be happy with the place before accepting any job.  In a step of faith, I just told him it wasn't necessary for me to travel with him.  What was important at that time was knowing that my husband had a job he loved.  As his wife, I was ready to follow him to "the moon and back" if it would be something to make him happy.

Well he flew to Pasadena, Texas and the rest is history.  He loved the people.  His voice was full of excitement and enthusiasm for a hopeful future doing the one thing he loved most - coaching.  When he asked me what I thought, I said, "Sign the contract and find us a place to live before you leave there."
That was in May.  We packed up our two youngsters, a boat and two vehicles and made the trip to a new life -- a new future.  As we left our home town and families, there wasn't a dry eye.  This was a huge separation from our families.

Shortly after moving to Pasadena, we started looking for a home (we were in apartment).  We found a cute little house (and I thought this is perfect for a few years then we can return back to Iowa).  Once settled in the new house, it became apparent that the Coach was much loved and in great demand.  Here I was with the little ones -- alone, lonely and desperately homesick.  After mumbling about being homesick non-stop, Dennis encouraged me to attend San Jacinto College ($4 per sem hr).  He said it would get me out and help me meet people.  I would go to school in the daytime while the kids were in school.

I got started and it was indeed inspiring and I did meet many individuals who were working to improve their future.  After four semesters at San Jac, I was burnt out!  I wanted to quit.  I was overwhelmed with being mom, wife and student.  Dennis was the one who listened quietly then gave me his reassuring talk, "Don't quit Lin.  You are taking 18 hrs each semester and it is way too much.  Just back off to 12 hrs.  Give yourself some relief but don't QUIT."  He went on to say he didn't care if I ever taught a day in my life but it would be good to finish the Bachelor's degree (with elementary teaching certification) so I would always have it to fall back on.

That next semester I transferred on to UH/CLC and went on to finish that teaching degree.  In 1982, I accepted my first teaching position as a math teacher in Intermediate school.  I absolutely loved my job.  I have told my students many times -- "Find a career that brings out your passion."  (Even now at age 65, I can honestly say I drove to work each morning feeling so fortunate that I would be doing what I love most - teaching.  That leaves it to your imagination that I just loved working with youth.)

Then in 1990, when our son left for college, I went back to get my master's degree.  Dennis was so encouraging.  His words were.."go get your master's and I will take care of things here at the house."  Fortunately for me that became my path to a Master's in Education with Supervision and Mid-Management certification.  An incredible journey of support, encouragement, mentoring and love made it possible for this homesick "girl" from Iowa to fulfill her dreams in the field of education.

In 2001, Dennis and I started looking for a retirement home.  We looked for about six months before making the decision to move to Bella Vita (a gated community for active seniors).  I wasn't keen on the idea. Afterall we would be moving in with the "older folks".  Once again, after many conversations, I relented to his suggestion that this would be the best place for us in our "golden years".  We live one block from a club house (with ballroom, fitness center, computer center, swimming pool and lake).

After about 6 months of moving in, we got the diagnosis of Alzheimer's for Dennis.  Our future shattered in just a few difficult words that brought no cure and no hope beyond ten years.  Denial worked well for both of us for at least five years -- and if you have read my blog, you know the rest.

This post is about decisions made by my husband who I trusted and respected always.  They were decisions we made together but I was hesitant -- following in faith.  Now that I am facing life as his widow, I can embrace the fact that our move to Texas was absolutely the right choice for all of us.  This homesick Iowa girl would never have gone on to get the college education had it not been for the move.

Now my time here in Bella Vita is different without my husband but it is a community of support and encouragement.  There is always someone to talk to and someone who relates.  It is just a matter of stepping out the door and attending the wide variety of activities or walking on the lake to see neighbors.

Dennis was a huge part of my educational accomplishments.  Now that education has been exponentially important as I work through the grieving process continuing to help others and serving the students of Pasadena ISD.  Our school district has become my professional family and their support is priceless.

Our decision to move to Bella Vita has been much more than a home and beautiful surroundings. Living in Bella Vita gives me the community experience that I need to face these years ahead.

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My absence from blogging has been directly influenced by the past few weeks of "missing Denny".  I have been in some dark places with days I didn't even want to get out of bed.  Finally, I am back to proclaiming how blessed I really am.  I am embarrassed and a bit ashamed that I fall in these moods still but I know what it takes "to pull myself back up".  

If you are reading this blog, "Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You are standing in good company with Dennis who is always steadfast in his support."