Angels

One afternoon, after returning from senior bowling, Dennis said "I met an angel today".  I smiled and said, "Really?"  He went on to explain that Barb was an angel.  She was a neighbor who volunteered to drive him to bowling once a week.  And during bowling she helped him when he was confused.  He said, " It is like God knows what I need even before I do.  So anyone who helps me must be an angel."  And from that moment on, we recognized and spoke of our angels.

We all have different gifts and ways to serve the Lord.  Soon after Denny's diagnosis, life began to change in ways other than the element of disease.  Individuals I thought were such good friends somehow faded away.  Our social network shifted to almost nothing.  All I could feel was loss on all levels of life as I had known it.  This shift caused feelings of abandonment, loneliness, sorrow, betrayal and all other feelings that drain you of the positive energy needed to face under normal circumsances.  With that loss and the lack of meaningful support groups, I began to withdraw and focus only on caring for Dennis and whatever was to come.

Staying in the bowels of sorrow can only be destructive.  One evening, I was driving us home from our daughter's.  I had been troubled all day by a confrontation/argument we had earlier that morning.  With tears falling slowly, I said, "Dennis I am so sorry for the argument this morning.  I am not angry at you.  I love you!  But I hate this damn disease and what it is doing to our lives."  Being the Godly man that he was and always the comforter, he responded, "Lin, I love you too!  But we can't live our lives in anger.  We can't look at all the bad stuff.  I have lived a good life - a great life.  And I will continue to do so as long as God allows.  I can swim and bike and we still have each otherand our family.  It's going to be okay."  True to his spirit of the loving and strong husband, his comfort forced me to a new perspective.

After that conversation, it became perfectly clear to us that angels were not necessarily those that we picture with heavenly wings in the clouds.  Not at all because we soon recognized angels as those who took time to show a caring and supportive spirit.  Looking back now, I better understand that we all have the opportunity to be 'angels'.  Those who recognize the needs of others and so unselfishly give of their time, talents and support are indeed doing God's work. 

From then, I started looking for the good that was coming to us.  I looked at the completed strangers who stepped in to help.  As the saying goes, I made it a priority to 'look at the cup as half full' and forget the empty or what was lost.  In doing that angels came to us with every need.

For me the angels were acqaintances who would stop to ask me about Dennis and how was I doing.  Theirs was not a polite passing but a genuine concern and a pause to give a hug.  It would be that person who walked past my classroom door and waved just to let me know they were there.  And there were neighbors who had in the past had been just a friendly face who now called, came by and helped in any way just to show support for the two of us. 

For Dennis the angels were acquaintances who volunteered to take him bowling; drove him to swimming; watched out for him in the neighborhood; sat with him at the hospital; stopped to chat when he wanted to tell his military stories; lended a hand when he got bit by the dog and I was at work.  It was the person or persons who sheltered him with food and care at the Gathering Place.  It was the high school coach who welcomed him to swim workouts with the high school kids.  It was the childhood friend who appeared after 40 years to become his best friend, confidant, voice of reason, traveling companion and co-caregiver.  Later in the blog, I will tell you about hunters in a field and a dog named Lucky who were angels during a life threatening event.  School district police officers who stepped in during periods of wandering acted with great support and kindness helping us get Dennis home safe on more than one occasion.  And my younger brother, Doug, gave his time and caregiving heart to three years living with us so Dennis had supervision and was safe.  That alone was special but you will read about a beating and police action that took Doug's care to an entirely new level beyond caregiving.

Again I say to you that the spirit of angels (those doing God's work) came to me through faith.  It took my husband recognizing that there were strangers reaching out to help during difficult times:  to comfort, to support, to nourish, to encourage, to administer, to advise, to take over tasks/chores, to provide resources; and to give of their time to give these individuals a place in my spiritual journey.  My committment to see the good in life and the people who were readily available (instead of those who disappeared) made everything we faced much easier because we were not alone.

The reason I use reference to angels is because these individuals have no grandios notion of doing God's work -- it just happens.  They unselfishly reach out when they see a need.  They have no fear of rejection nor concern for recognition.  And most important, if you tell them they are one of your angels -- they are taken back by such a suggestion.  The humility of those who care (sometimes for a complete stranger) is beyond your daily interactions with your prior circle of support.  And you will read here in the blog that often we did not know their names.

Angels were and are among us -- if we believe and recognize God's perfect timing of comfort and support.