To Embrace the Future...."Letting Go"

Letting go can be difficult.  Every day we let go of something; people, ideas, expectations, desires, bad habits, and so on.

As I begin this post, I am reminded of when our son, Scott, was in college. During one of my one-on-one visits he said to me, "Mom it isn't the stages of life that are difficult, it is the transition from one to another that is difficult."  For him, he was referring to when he went off to college and metaphorically didn't have time for "mama" when I called to talk.  Then after a couple years, he was calling me and I was busy with my daily routines and not always available.  And so life goes.
As I struggled with our children leaving home, I remember Denny telling me that I had to "let go" of them and they would return with a greater understanding of life, faith, hope, love and family.

Letting go is a transition.  It is not one I have never embraced willingly and always found a bit painful; whether it was a good thing to let go or a hurt that never healed.  I think I am somewhere in the middle of that "letting go transition".

As Dennis said to me when I shared my anger at what was happening to our lives as a result of the dementia, "Lin we can't live our lives in anger and bitterness.  I have had a good life, a great life, and I will continue to do so until the Lord calls me home."  Now I can echo to my life partner, "I too have had a good life.  And it was in my relationship with God and Dennis that I learned to let go of childhood hurts, self-doubt, and negative thoughts of myself -- that it became a great life!"

Every day, every moment provides a chance for us to re-invent who we are; to shrug off baggage (grief for me) and open ourselves to the possibilities in our future and take action to move in that direction with faith, hope and love.

Intellectually this is a given and easy to understand -- "knowing it and living it" are two different things.

God's timing is everything!  This morning I read something I want to share.  
"10 Tips to Let Go of the Past & Embrace the Future" by Cat O'Connor

1) Meditate: Find stillness, breathe. Meditation is action.  Our mind is much harder to still than our body.  Our lives are busy and fast paced, filled with external noise and distractions.  Clarity comes from quiet.
2) Understand: Take time to reflect on your own history as a third party lookin in without judgment; simple observe. Understand that you are not your past.  Knowing and understanding your past and some of your patterns will help you to recognize why you hold on and repeat self-destructive behaviors.  Understanding creates awareness; awareness helps you break the cycle.
3) Accept:  Accept your history and the people that have been a part of your history; accept your cirumstances that none of these define you.  Acceptance is the first step to letting go and setting yourself free.  
4) Empty your cup:  Consciously and actively work at letting go of your story; your judgments and ideals, the material things, all your stuff.  They have no real value.  They do not make you stronger, healthier or more powerful, and belief in them is a delusion.  Pour out your expectations of how, who, where and what you should be as theym, too, are part of a story that is holding you back from simply being.  Once you let go of this story and "empty your cup", your life purpose will open up and flow.  
5) Align:  Take a time to write down ; your core beliefs; your life goals; and the actions that you are taking to pursue those goals. Determine whether or not these align with your goals and actions.  
6) Flex:  It may seem paradoxical to detach from outcomes, yet set goals and work toward them.  But if you are flexible -- that is willing to let go of the end result --- aligning your goals and true purpose with the greater good is righteous action.  Be flexible; all the path to unfold as it will, opening up to opportunities.  Flex and flow with the current life.
7) Contribute:  Offereing a smile to someone as you pass, opening a door, dropping of some food at the foodbank, helping a neighbor; these simple actions can have lasting impact and help you to put your situation into perspective.  Contributing to the well-being of others is the best way to align with your true self.
8) Believe in yourself:  Believe in your purpose.  Believe that the universe is unfolding as it should and that you have a divine roll to play.  Believe that holding on does nothing in fact but hold you back from that purpose.
9) Love the process: Have fun. Be playful, cheerful and positive.  Give power to positivity.  Love yourself, love others and love this life.  It is a gift to unwrap each and every day, to gaze upon with new and excited eyes.
10) Be grateful.  Be True:  Once you have taken all these actions, just BE

To these tips, I give an absolute Amen!  Thank you Lord for this message.

I have always thought letting go related to pain, sorrow and/or grief.  On a simple basis, some of this is like shopping for new clothes. After 65 years of shopping ... if you never "let go" of the older clothes, your closet is a total disaster.  Silly I know to think of it that way but that is where I am.  It is time to sort through the closets of my heart to determine what needs to be passed on or put aside--- and what I need to help me embrace the future with faith, hope and love.

Scott had no idea his words would give me strength in my final chapters of life. Sondra has taught me how important it is to be present for your children and parents. She walked the path of dementia with Dennis and I for ten years.   If we listen\watch our grown children carefully, we will find God's influence in their words of wisdom and the way they live their lives.  We will see their values --- and smile.  Denny was right!  Letting go of our kids was God's plan for their lives.  They have never left so letting go was simply part of the plan.

I am determined ---The negative side effects of grief are no longer my "burden" to carry.  Letting go will only make me stronger. By letting go, I am one step closer to being the person God has planned for me to be.  It is time I have fun, be playful, cheerful and positive.  It is time to believe in myself and know my own strength of character.  This awareness comes with continued faith, hope and love.  I am blessed!