"Love: It's a simple word that has a vast meaning. Love can mean compassion, uncensored and true, living in the moment. Love can be unconditional and unprotected and vulnerable, which is a scary place to be, a place most of us choose not to be. But it is this place of love that holds the meaning of life for us here. The reason we're put here is to receive those precious gifts of love from the Lord all around us. At times we lose those gifts just to remind us that we're not here to place judgment, hold bad feelings, get lost in our own needs, but to extend or surpass our own boundaries and give love. For in the end, that's all we have."
Not sure where I found this passage but it carried a message that gave me reason to reflect. We love our parents, our siblings, our friends, our jobs, our hobbies, our significant others, and our Heavenly Father. The word love has so many meanings.
I remember about 20 years ago when I met my birth father how he would say "I love you!" It bothered me because I knew he wanted me to say I loved him back- and I couldn't. In talking about this with Dennis, he listened quietly then said, "but you do love him just not as a father"! Sounded crazy to me as I rejected the thought. Then Den went on to talk about how we can love even total strangers -- by God's design! Eventually I was able to give him a hug and tell him I loved him. After all he was God's child and without him my place here in time would not have happened.
The morning of Denny's death, I remember giving him a goodbye kiss then stepping back to look at his lifeless body. In that moment, I had a profound understanding of what the bible means when it speaks of body as being a vessel. the vessel is what we relate to visually and physically with touch and sound. The essence of who we are is our soul. I remembered reading a quote, "We are not a body with a soul but a soul with a body!" Truly the man I loved dearly had left for eternal life long before that morning. Those past 2-3 years we were caring for a disease. These words would sound strange to my children. After all, their dad was still playful and loving. But his relationship with me, his wife, was childlike. He always knew I was someone special and smiled when he saw me coming. But everything that made him my husband had disappeared.
Almost two years later, I have had time to reflect, read, pray and open my heart to better understand love. Did I lose Denny's love at death? I don't think so! Sure I couldn't touch, feel or see him --- but I felt him. Now when he comes to me in dreams or a song or a prayer-- it is a sweet reminder of youth, young love, passion, lust, committment and hearts dedicated to Christ.
Love with your spouse is spiritual! True love connects to the very core of your being and who you are. Dennis was a compassionate and gentle man. Throughout our years together it hurt him to see me cry. When I think of his love for me, I know I wasn't the only one crying these past few years. Both our hearts were broken. I remember his response to my anger about what was happening with the disease. He reminded me we could not live life with anger or bitterness. He went on to say, "I am okay Lin! I have had a good life..a great life and I will continue to do so til God calls me home." It has taken me all this time to understand that he was telling me how I should live the remainder of my life when he was gone. Our spiritual connection far surpassed the delightful connections of physical intimacy.
Through this journey of life I have been blessed! Many have reminded me how few people experience a love like ours. My own daughter told me one day, " I would give anything to have a man love me -- like dad loved you!" And I all I could respond was "I do too!"
Faith, hope and love ---- never underestimate their ability to carry you through the darkest of times. They can also breathe life into a soul that longs to love and be loved again. What that looks like or how that will manifest itself in my life remains to be seen.
I remember about 20 years ago when I met my birth father how he would say "I love you!" It bothered me because I knew he wanted me to say I loved him back- and I couldn't. In talking about this with Dennis, he listened quietly then said, "but you do love him just not as a father"! Sounded crazy to me as I rejected the thought. Then Den went on to talk about how we can love even total strangers -- by God's design! Eventually I was able to give him a hug and tell him I loved him. After all he was God's child and without him my place here in time would not have happened.
The morning of Denny's death, I remember giving him a goodbye kiss then stepping back to look at his lifeless body. In that moment, I had a profound understanding of what the bible means when it speaks of body as being a vessel. the vessel is what we relate to visually and physically with touch and sound. The essence of who we are is our soul. I remembered reading a quote, "We are not a body with a soul but a soul with a body!" Truly the man I loved dearly had left for eternal life long before that morning. Those past 2-3 years we were caring for a disease. These words would sound strange to my children. After all, their dad was still playful and loving. But his relationship with me, his wife, was childlike. He always knew I was someone special and smiled when he saw me coming. But everything that made him my husband had disappeared.
Almost two years later, I have had time to reflect, read, pray and open my heart to better understand love. Did I lose Denny's love at death? I don't think so! Sure I couldn't touch, feel or see him --- but I felt him. Now when he comes to me in dreams or a song or a prayer-- it is a sweet reminder of youth, young love, passion, lust, committment and hearts dedicated to Christ.
Love with your spouse is spiritual! True love connects to the very core of your being and who you are. Dennis was a compassionate and gentle man. Throughout our years together it hurt him to see me cry. When I think of his love for me, I know I wasn't the only one crying these past few years. Both our hearts were broken. I remember his response to my anger about what was happening with the disease. He reminded me we could not live life with anger or bitterness. He went on to say, "I am okay Lin! I have had a good life..a great life and I will continue to do so til God calls me home." It has taken me all this time to understand that he was telling me how I should live the remainder of my life when he was gone. Our spiritual connection far surpassed the delightful connections of physical intimacy.
Through this journey of life I have been blessed! Many have reminded me how few people experience a love like ours. My own daughter told me one day, " I would give anything to have a man love me -- like dad loved you!" And I all I could respond was "I do too!"
Faith, hope and love ---- never underestimate their ability to carry you through the darkest of times. They can also breathe life into a soul that longs to love and be loved again. What that looks like or how that will manifest itself in my life remains to be seen.
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